Maybe in a Different Life
by Ria Rose
Summary: SLASH, though non-explicit: Austin/Max  'Rio is beautiful,' Max thought to himself. 'Payson is beautiful. Austin is beautiful. My life? Not so much.'


Title: Maybe in a Different Life

Author: Ria Rose

Rated: PG-13

Genre: drama and angst

Warnings: SLASH. This is male/male, if you don't like it: Please take your eyes elsewhere. Also, my bad, but this is un-betaed. I popped this little ficlet out after the finale which, may I add to this warning, means that this story CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR THE SEASON FINALE. IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THE EPISODE YET, PLEASE GO WATCH THEN YOU MAY COME BACK AND ENJOY THE ANGST. Thank you!

Author's note: I'm actually a sick, sad slash fan and have, in the works, several slash fics in this fandom, though they mostly revolve around Sasha (one even included Max so either I'm clairvoyant or just damn good at what I do.); however, they are all rated M as in mature readers only. Yum. This little ditty is PG-13 and safe for all non-homophobic ages over 13, I believe. Pretty much, as soon as Max kissed Austin this little bunny started rampaging in my brain. Please review and I hope you enjoy!

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><p><strong>Maybe in a Different Life<strong>

'Rio is beautiful,' Max thought to himself. 'Payson is beautiful._ Austin_ is beautiful. My life? Not so much.'

The girls were celebrating their win at World's and yeah, Max was happy for them, ecstatic even. He was so proud of Payson and of how she literally just OWNED the vault. And he loved her, he really truly did. But they say love is infinite and he wasn't sure how true that was but he loved Austin as well. It was different with Austin than it was for Payson. Payson hit him like a snowball, hard and fast, her infectious personality and love for gymnastics just melted all over him. The feeling was wonderful; it was perfect.

With Austin, things were a little slower, but just as intense. Austin was more like building a snow fort: You took the time, got to know the curves of the walls, the feeling of the snow packing against your hand; you grew to marvel what had been created. It was just as perfect—that feeling—as it was with Payson.

He didn't know where he stood with Austin now that he had kissed him. Payson didn't know and she deserved to know, but she didn't. And he didn't know how he would tell her. Because Payson was pure, almost like that cliché: Pure as the driven snow. But he knew where he stood with her. He knew that she loved him, knew that she was willing to completely alter her life and everything she had worked so hard for just to fit him in.

With Payson, he could have it all. The beautiful and talented gymnast at his side, the life of an athlete (as soon as he finally fully healed), and the even the white picket fence.

But in that life, he couldn't have Austin. True, he probably could never have him; Austin kissed girls in swimming pools, Austin fell in love with strong champions, not bisexual friends.

The way Max figured it, one of three things could happen. The first being the most amazing: Austin would come to him, Austin would love him and somehow Payson would stay with him and it would all be all right. The second was that he would pretend like the kiss and that conversation never happened and Max would have to be content with the memory of his lips.

And the third? That was the one that Max feared the most. It was the one he figured would happen. He would lose Austin and not just as someone he loved romantically, but as someone he loved as a dear friend.

To put it lightly, Max was scared out of his mind.

He had to get out, get away from the celebrating, away from the purity of Payson that he would probably end up corrupting though God only knew how badly he loved her and didn't ever want to give her up. He had to get away from Austin. Who was kissing Kaylie. Again.

So when Lauren and Kaylie took over Payson's attention once more, he signaled to her that he was going outside and he left.

And _damn_…Rio was beautiful. He could appreciate the city even if he couldn't be bothered with looking at all the grace the streets he walked on held.

He could not have both of them. Even if Austin suddenly decided that he wanted Max just as much as Max wanted him, he would have to say no. Payson was the route he had to take.

Maybe in another life. Maybe then he could have everything.

There was a small park to his left and he veered toward it, relishing in the privacy that the trees gave him and picking a spot that was out of the way and of which no one would think to look for him unless they had been following him. The base of the tree scratched at his back when he sat, the earth rubbing away and messing his shirt but he could not have cared less. Let his shirt be dirtied; it fit, didn't it? With the themes of his sullied life?

'Dammit,' he cursed to himself, 'stop, just stop, Max, you got Payson. You have SOMETHING. And she is something wonderful and spectacular and something you've wanted for _so_ long.'

Around him, the night wore on. The park deserted itself of all inhabitants except for its hidden one, pressed against the trunk of a tree that was old and wise and had more than likely seen its share of hidden patrons, people running from their problems or attempting to make sense of themselves. For a long while, it was blissfully and shamelessly quiet.

The world around him was so still and so serene that when the crunching of leaves sounded to his right he jolted in surprise. Someone HAD followed him.

"Hey," Austin said quietly as he sat down next to him. "You all right?"

"Fabulous."

"Thought you were bi, not gay. FABulous!" The attempt at humor was lame but Max appreciated it nonetheless. It was so like Austin to try and diffuse the tension with a joke.

He turned to him and smiled sadly. "You got Kaylie. Finally."

"Yeah, and it looks like you and Payson are on your way to being the next dream team."

"Yeah." Max paused. "I'm sorry I kissed you."

"Don't be. I wish you would have told me sooner, I wish you would have trusted me enough to say it."

"It's not that I didn't trust you."

Austin frowned, "Then what is it?"

"I love you."

Dawning spread across Austin's face like a blush, "Oh."

"Yeah."

"I love you too, you know."

Max tensed, "You don't understand, I don't love you like that…like a friend…I love you like-"

He was cut off when Austin grabbed his face and kissed him softly. "I know how you love me. And it took me a long time to figure it out myself, but when you kissed me at the party, it was like everything clicked."

"Austin, don't be cruel, seriously, dude, please…"

He kissed him again, "I'm not being cruel. I'm being honest. And this honesty needs to continue because I think I'm in love with Kaylie as well and I know you're in love with Payson and, Max, I'm sorry, but you and I…with the lives we lead…"

"It could never happen."

"Now it's my turn to say I'm sorry."

"You're right," Max said, resting his forehead against Austin's, "you are. We could never…I mean, maybe if…maybe if we weren't elite gymnast looking to make it to the Olympics, maybe if you weren't a public figure, a celebrity, maybe if this world was more forgiving of two men being together, maybe…maybe…" He couldn't. He just could say it. His voice broke. "We should get back."

Austin nodded. "It will be okay, you know, we'll both find happiness. We'll both find fulfillment. We'll be okay."

"Will it be enough?"

"It's gonna have to be." Slowly, Austin cupped Max's face, he brought their lips together gently, easing his tongue across Max's lips and kissing him with such a passion, such intensity that Max could do nothing else but break down. But even through his tears, he didn't stop kissing him. He couldn't. Not when he knew it would never happen again.

When they broke apart, it was to ragged breathing and heaving chests. Austin kept one hand on Max's face, letting his thumb wipe away the silent tears. In his other hand, he held his friend's. Always his friend. Forever his friend. Never anything more.

"Maybe," Austin said, his own voice on the verge of cracking, "maybe in a different life."

Max choked, tears rolling down his cheeks at the thought of what he could have but would never be allowed. He nodded, his head rocking Austin's hand up and down, "Yeah…Yeah, I know." He wiped his face with his free hand. "Maybe in a different life."

With that, he stood up and left and he never looked back. Not once. Not ever.

The End.

And I honestly beg of you to PLEASE feed the review whore that is me, myself, and I.


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